Living to be the next 'in-turn'

I don’t like the word ‘Intern’; I’d prefer to call us something along the lines of ‘Company Observers’ or ‘Spectators of Workplaces,’ for that better describes what we do.

We come in, meet the team, receive a desk and sometimes even a phone number and email address by which we are contactable. We drink the company coffee, learn by example and if we’re really lucky, we actually contribute rather than merely examine the colour scheme of the office, or the efficiency of their recycling procedures.

The word ‘Intern’ suggests to me that we ‘in turn’ might… make the coffee, get a byline, be offered a job…? I suppose I should acknowledge the fact ‘intern’ doesn’t in reality stem from the combining of the two above words. Such is life.

As an Intern, you never actually admit to your powerlessness. On speaking to clients or companies over the phone, you confidently lead them into a false sense of security. “My name’s Georgie and I work at the ‘insert your company here’”.

Again, you live and breathe as though you were a tax paying, benefits accruing, hard-working, company employee. It doesn’t matter that, in fact, the only thing you share with your ‘colleagues’ is the fact that you buy your lunch at Waitrose; they use their neat salary, you use your £5 lunch allowance, keen to maintain appearances of grandeur and secretly determined to spend every penny of your essentially free lunch.

When you do get a byline, it stares back at you from the page, as incredulous as to how it got there as you are. No matter, it is there for the world (or in some cases a slightly smaller percentile) to see, absorb and ultimately judge. It’s slightly like hanging your undies on the washing line on the day your brother invites all his friends over for a beer and BBQ.

Building up a portfolio of work is, I think, the same as compiling a photo album. It’s self-absorbing, ego-boosting (like having a great tan line in that photo) and it is that all important proof that you have not simply wiled away the summer watching re-runs of Dawson’s Creek and Hollyoaks. It’s something to look back on in years to come and show the family. “Here’s what I did that summer after I graduated,” says an older, and more wrinkled you flicking through pages of neat prose and copy. Hours and hours and hundreds more hours of unpaid work. “That’s great Granny. Can I go on my skateboard now?” Perhaps not quite the reaction you were after.

Catching up with the Joneses

I know I'm not a Jones, I'm a Klein.  But I feel I owe a catch up as it has been a little while since I've posted anything and I've noticed just the hint of a decrease in page views on my profile... I won't hold it against you... not this time. 

So there are various things I have considered updating you on.  Firstly, the self indulgence of those high-profile companies who feel it is their right to entirely and unsympathetically disregard candidates (with or without potential for success) without tact and without fear of reprisal.  Secondly, your very own choices and ideas of items to post on my blog, which many of you kindly voted on and which I hope to deliver on a regular basis.  And thirdly, what's new 'en mi vida' ('in my life' for you non-Spaniards out there.)

I shall start by relaying the bad news to you with the understanding that it should always be followed by something more positive to leave you smiling.  The job market is letting me down.  No, it's stronger than that really, it's failing me, it's squashing me with its enormous five inch stilettos. The Guardian and the Independent preach that we should endeavour to make job hunting our 'full time job' and so I have wiled away long days in my Paris Gellar-esque work retreat, pouring out my heart and soul (also personality traits, work experience, previous employment and personal statements) into job application after job application with think-bubbles screaming 'EMPLOY ME EMPLOY ME EMPLOY ME', all I might add, to no current avail.  I have submitted quite literally myself  to not one, not two but twenty six different publishing-related companies and in response, have heard back from six. 

The most exciting possibility was in travel oriented publishing for a company that produces in-flight magazines for big airlines.  I applied for an internship in the editorial department, lured in by the ambitious and challenging array of experiences they offered; I went for interview, but am still waiting for a definitive answer.   

Who else did I apply to? 

• The BBC to work in research for an Arts Documentary - no luck there, but honestly not especially surprised.  I'm no Simpson or Dimbleby.

• NOW Magazine - jumped through hoops writing some 'sample' pieces for them but after an initially positive response, was told nothing was available until May and I would need to reapply.  The response read: "Sorry, we are now booked up until April. If you would like to apply for a placement after 6 April 2011, please put your new dates in subject field and reply to this email".  That was it, no 'thank you for your time, efforts, hope, enthusiasm...'

• Time and Leisure in London were a lot more helpful in their rejection in the sense that they explained the reasoning behind it and offered some alternatives I could look into.  Thanks to them.

• Time Out gave me the following feedback which at least stopped me from deciding that I have NO talent at writing and applying for a job as a 'leaflet hander-outer' (which at least offers some financial incentive): "Your application was of an extremely high quality so although I can not offer you a work placement at this time, I would like to keep your details on file."

So, having Googled every single publishing company the gargantuan online encyclopaedia could provide me with and trawled through copious magazines, applying to them didn't seem to have benefited me in the slightest.  All I had achieved was a colossal contribution to deforestation and a displacement of several thousand hours of my time. It seems that I must reassess my application technique, try even harder for an internship and in my hopes to reaffirm my true love of writing, put fingers to keypad even more often to substantiate myself as a writer. 

And so onto the good news :) my poem 'Human Expose' won first place in a competition called 'Strictly Shakespeare'. It wasn't a big competition, I entered mostly because the theme was 'Valentines Day' and the entry fee was only a pound. In a knock-out elimination process based on daily votes, I somehow managed to beat the final competitor with her brilliant poem 'Worth It' and got a nice little prize of £20. Thanks to everyone who went on the site and voted :-)

Finally, thank you to everyone who voted on the poll I put up on my site asking what you would all like to see more of.  First place, quite surprisingly, was Photo of the Day.  So I'll be keeping my eyes skimmed for interesting things to snap! Secondly, tied, were The Alabama Chronicles and My own little Hogwarts. I get so excited delving into the vast expanse that is my memory and recollecting the nuggets of quirkisms and peculiarities that accompanied those years of my life.  Some people suggested more travel and culture related pieces, which I have some ideas for so I'll keep you posted on those and I might even do some little insights into things that I personally find engaging / exciting / noteworthy, whether it be books, films, cooking or whatever! Wait and see!

Lunacy ad infinitum

My life is spinning like the headiness of a hangover.

One factor at the mercy of another at the mercy of another at the mercy of another.

The situation is like this. 

***The temping agency that I am registered with is currently seeking short term job opportunities for me. 

***Whether I can take any of said job opportunities depends entirely on whether my ex-employers would like me for a spot of extra work this week.  

***Whether I can accept my ex-employers' work offer depends entirely on whether the fantastic magazine publisher in London to which I have applied for a four week internship requires me to attend an interview this week.  

I'm expecting phone calls from all three of the above companies but not in any particular order. 

Idyllically, I would first hear from high profile London publisher, proposing an interview for this coming Friday.  

This would be followed by a phone call from my ex-employers, stating they would like my assistance for a few days this week (not dependent on 'which' days I can do). 

And thirdly I would hear from my trusted temping agency saying they have no available work for me this week but they remain ever diligent in their efforts to secure me something soon. 

Let the multi-dimensionality unwind.

To apply, or not to apply?

A contemporary look at one of Shakespeare's most famous poems.  I wanted to write something this morning but my mind was jammed with a single line that I couldn't shake off.  'To apply, or not to apply'.  It amused me that my full time occupation as a job hunter was somehow my main inspiration for a literary pursuit and so I had a giggle imagining a 21st century William Shakespeare, pouring himself over guardianjobs.com with a pencil behind one ear pondering 'to apply or not to apply'.   

I wonder whether a modern-day William would have have suffered the same woes as the contemporary job seeker?

To apply, or not to apply: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of rejection letters,
And by opposing end them?  To cry: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That self-esteem is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd.  To cry, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of unrest what nightmares may come
When we turned our back to fate's resolve, 
Must give us pause: there's the respect

That makes calamity of so long life;

For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,

The judge's cruel verdict, the hopeful aspirant's despair,

The pangs of failure?